…Don’t Make this Girl Responsible for Her Own Orgasm

The Big Bang Theory

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…don’t make this girl responsible for her own orgasms as well…

That is such a great line from one of my favorite shows on tv right now.  It appeared in the most recent season of Big Bang Theory wherein Leonard’s mom comes for a visit, ends up getting drunk with Penny and confessing her lack of sexlife.  Drunk words are sober thoughts when she tells Leonard to treat Penny right, and not make her be responsible for her own orgasms. 

Drunk words are sober truths.  At least in this case.

And it makes me sad to think that there are so many women out there who are responsible for their own orgasms, whether it be due to a selfish lover, lack of foreplay or the inability to orgasm with a partner at all.

I know from personal experience that it can be frustrating.  Although, and I hate to brag when I say this but, at this point in my life, I find that I am quite satifisied, and even though I can’t orgasm on command, my numbers are certainly up.  But it was not without it’s hard times.

I spent a lot of time not knowing what I wanted.  For awhile, I was there just for his pleasure.  And that was fine then.  I was young, I didn’t know any better, and I didn’t know what I was doing.  Then one day, I was with someone who had all the time in the world to let me relax, feel and experience, and DAMN!  I’m not kidding when I say it totally changed my view of sex.

The bad part to that was following that I was with an ex for 6 years, and he did not have the patience to push me along that sexual journey.  I found myself on my own, and thus was responsible for my own orgasms.

That is, until Mister and I reconnected.  And ever since then, it has just been and amazing ride.  Right now, I don’t have any desire to orgasm all. the. time.  I don’t need to.  I can appreciate sex as just sex as well as sex as a means of primal release.  And I’m fine with it both ways.  I have been told on a few different occasions that that fact that I orgasm so much is not too common

What I can offer from my own experience is a little advice to those women who have difficulties

First, just relax.  You will get there when you get there.  Sometimes the more you try to rush and force it, the less likely it is to happen.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted just a quickie, but my body doesn’t always respond to the get ‘er done attitude.  Which brings me to the second thing: listen to what your body wants.  Not everyone responds to the same things in the same way.  You will know what works and what doesn’t just by listening to what your body is telling you.  Third, it’s okay to be a little selfish when it comes to getting yourself off.  Especially when you’re with a guy, get on top, take control and see what happens.  Some guys actually like the idea of women taking the lead sometimes.

I can’t stress enough the fact that everyone is different and different things work for different people.  You just have to try, try again and see what works for you.

Kids Say the Funniest Things

Blueberry

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As I mentioned in a previous post, Mister and I spent the weekend up in the woods, away from everything at his parents place.  During our awesome when we climbed a mountain, swam in a pond and hiked a trail, Mister and I took Puppy along with us for most of our activities.  Including the hike up the mountain to pick blueberries. 

It was a really beautiful day.  Mister had a small container around his neck to collect blueberries, which only got about half full.  The reason is because for every blueberry he put into his container, about six or seven would end up eaten.  He ate so many he said he got a stomach ache.

ANYway.

After blueberry picking, we climbed further up to a tower at the top of the  mountain, where you could see so much of the beautiful, green, uncivilized horizon.  Blueberries and Puppy in tow.

The fun thing about Puppy is that she attracts people.  Come on, who doens’t want to pet the world’s cutest puppy? 

There was a family of four – mom, dad, and two young boys around the age of 2 and 4.  The older boy had made a big deal about Puppy, and how cute she was, while keeping his distance.  The younger boy froze as soon as he saw Puppy.  We tend to keep Puppy on a tight leash whenever she’s around people, just in case she gets excited and jumps or barks.  Nobody likes a barking dog, and not everybody is okay with the ones that jump, too.

So, we smiled at the family and waved to the little boys, and walked passed them, keeping Puppy tightly leashed so she wouldn’t get excited.  With our backs to the family, the older boy ran over to his brother and started yelling to his mom:

LOOK, Mom!  I came to GET him from the puppy!

And he was so proud that he was protecting his little brother.  And Mister and I both burst out laughing.  We heard the mom and dad laughing, too.  How could you not laugh?  It was bloody hysterical! 

I came to get him from the puppy.

It’s such a great phrase, and the fact that this little boy was so protective of his brother and so proud that he was getting him from the puppy just put a smile on both our faces.

I must say, and this is a little cliche, but kids say the darndest things.

And I can’t wait until we have some of our own.

The Husband/Girlfriend Conundrum

What do you do when your husband desperately wants you to sleep with another woman?  Why, you get a girlfriend, of course.

Mister has been going back and forth with me, probably since we got back together in December 2008, about whether or not he wants to have a 3some. 

Truth: I was a little bisexual in high school.

Truth: I still find women attractive.

Truth: I want to please my husband.

And in looking at those truths, I have agreed to do something that I may or may not be comfortable with.  My comfortability has yet to be determined, actually.

However, keeping in mind that I am possibly, maybe okay with the idea of a 3some, I do have some pretty specific boundaries taht I don’t want to have crossed for fear of ruining my marriage by either him leaving me for another woman, or the equally likely me leaving him for another woman.  But, in my opinion, we’ll jump off that bridge when we get there.

For now, though, I still have some questions.  Both of myself and of the situation.

Question: Am I really into this or am I just blowing smoke because it’s fun?

Question: How can this be accomplished so that I am comfortable and Mister is happy?

Question: Who will the girl be?

All very important questions.

What I did not like about our current situation is that it felt like Mister was going behind my back.  And that was hurtful.  He is eager to get this endeavor off the ground, and I can’t blame him.  He’s a guy.  He has a fantasy.  Who wouldn’t want to push to get what they want… But in my opinion, there is a right way to go about it and a wrong way to go about it.

In my opinion, Mister went about it in the wrong way, BUT in the end it’s working out MUCH differently than I ever would have imagined.  Girlfriend is flirting fast and furious.  Mister is so incredibly turned on by my Texting with the Girl (TWTG).  All I want to do is make sure that I am able to maintain a healthy relationship with my husband meanwhile pleasing him and having a girlfriend to do so in the process.

My question to pose to all of you, Gentle Readers, is this:

How do you feel about the idea of a Threesome?  What is more important in maintaining a healthy relationship?  Would you do something JUST to please your significant other even if you weren’t comfortable with it?

Weekend Getaway

Mister and I took a road trip last Wednesday.  And while it was TECHNICALLY  road trip, it was more for business and serious matters than pleasure.  Except for the fact that we made it about pleasure as soon as the business part was taken care of.

It took for.ev.er. to get up to the deeps bowels of the semi-northern New England, but we made it.  After a quick stop in Salem for a family matter dealing with Mister’s ex-wife, we rushed out to the woods of New Hampshire, where Mister’s parents have a home and a few acres of land to play around on.

And when I tell you it was amazing?  I’m not kidding.  In fact, amazing doesn’t even quite cover it.

I’d never been to the REAL New Hampshire.  Actually, I have.  Just not this part.  So my first trip up to the House in the Woods (HITW) was really a barrel of monkeys.  Mister’s parents were up there, with their dog, and we had Puppy with us.  And as soon as we pulled into their driveway, a relaxing aura enveloped us, and we were fine.

The trees.  The solitude.  The freedom.  The smells.  The sounds.  I can’t even begin to describe how relaxed I felt there.  It was as if I had been going there my whole life. 

We looked at the stars in the pitch black night.  We climbed a mountain to pick blueberries and see the amazing view from the top.  We, well Mister and Puppy really, swam in the lake-pond and reclined in the sun on the deck.  Not to mention one of THE hottest shags we’ve ever had on that deck, out in the middle of the pond.  And, I’ll admit, I probably say that about ALL our shag sessions.  But who doesn’t love it out in the middle of nowhere with the sun beating down on you?

We played games with Mister’s parents, and had a wonderful breakfast Sunday morning before we left.

Mister and I never usually get the chance to get away, and when we do, we do it road trip style.  Mister made an excellent point about the way we travel as we were travelling:

When we’re home, we’re always so busy, and that’s just the way it is.  But when we travel together, and we can spend a full 24 hours together – just us – it’s the most fun we ever have.

And I’m pretty sure there was something in there about us being epic.  Face it.  We can’t get rid of each other.  It’s gross.  And really nice.

On the flipside, girlfriend is EXTREMELY interested in getting together.  In fact, that’s all she was texting me about.  all. weekend. long.

But that is utterly besides the point.

Because.  My husband and I had a lovely weekend getaway in a place that he’s loved all throughout his life (since his parents have had HITW).  And it was absolute perfection.